The Night of the Gigantic Flying Creature

A couple of nights ago I woke up to a weird beating sound. I looked at the clock and it was almost midnight. I usually stay up most nights to about 11:00pm or midnight, but on this night I was out at about 9:30pm. Maybe it was because Tara hit the sack at about 8:30pm. She wasn't feeling too good being great with child and all.

So I check the clock and it's midnight. I hear this beating and bumping sound above me. I flip on the lamp next to the bed and through my half asleep, glazed-over eyes I see this thing flying at the top window of our bedroom. We have a vaulted ceiling in the bedroom and this thing was pretty high. Earlier in the week we had seen some humming birds flying around the flowers. Then I remembered that Hondo across the street had a humming bird in his house that he had to catch. I don't deal with animals well. I am sort of not fond of animals or as Tara more appropriately says, "you're a wuss Dave." I can't argue too much. I'm not afraid of a humming bird, but I don't want to touch it or pet it, or even deal with it.

I woke Tara up to show her the humming bird and told her that I was going to call Jeff. I can call the Jamiesons at any time of night. They are up late, two or three in the morning kind of stuff doing who knows what. Anyway, I am about to call Jeff and the flying beast drops from the ceiling coming right at us and lands on the lamp. I look and this thing is a huge, Jurassic park moth.

Okay, I am totally freaking out now. The Incas used to make poisonous blow darts from this moth. It was yellow and black with huge fangs and crap. No way am I going near that thing. Every step we took closer to this thing and it starts flapping it enormous wings. I feel that you may not understand what this thing looks like. Imagine that Satan created a moth. Now imagine something much worse. Seriously, this thing was evil. It even hissed a couple of times. Tara is the one who gets rid of the spiders in our house. I'm not so much afraid as I am disgusted by little creatures. Okay, maybe a little afraid, but I was not going to call Jeff to come over and take care of Lucifer's moth. Instead, I made sure that Tara was wide awake to take care of it.

Honestly, I tried to kill it or at least stun it. I threw a wet wash cloth from a considerable distance and hit it directly. It didn't even phase it, it just flew around at us spitting acid. Tara was ticked that I made her get out of bed to kill a moth, Satan's moth, but when she saw it, even she was a little concerned. It didn't help that she is eight months pregnant, but I thought that she could take out her pain and anger on this moth. She grabbed the flyswatter when she should have grabbed a shotgun. This thing was bulletproof. Here are some short video clips of our midnight experience with death.


Scene One: Finding Courage

Scene Two: Flirting with Death

Scene Three: The Moth Won't Die and Dave is Tired

Final Scene: Regroup After Failure, A New Strategy

Tara ended up stunning the creature with repeated and violent flyswatter blows. Then she grabbed it with some toilet paper, totally suicidal, and flushed it down the toilet. I even flushed the toilet several more times to make sure it wasn't coming back. I still can't use that toilet.